


how dark (and beautiful) home

by hanyus, space (shimyeol)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alien Planet, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Back to Earth, Depressed Lance (Voltron), Established Keith/Lance (Voltron), Homesick Lance (Voltron), Hopeful Ending, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Hurt Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Lance (Voltron)-centric, M/M, Memories, Near Death Experiences, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad Lance (Voltron), Worried Keith (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 16:28:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12891957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanyus/pseuds/hanyus, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shimyeol/pseuds/space
Summary: Lance touched his chest with his hand, his arm dripping in the process by come out to the surface. He still was wearing his armor. His armor from a Paladin of Voltron. The Blue Paladin. Lance felt again his chest, a new touch under the palm of his hand. No, he wasn't wearing his armor anymore.Lance frowned slightly—now he wore his silky T-shirt that he always wore at home, but it was soaked.Another spasm. Lance let out a weak gasp. His heart beat slower than normal, like an alarm without sound. Like a late warning. Lance was in Cuba, in Varadero. He had returned to Earth, with his family. With his team. Beside Keith.Lance was at home.





	how dark (and beautiful) home

**Author's Note:**

> **BEFORE READING:** From now on, I'll no longer be writing in this account, so I'll move to [hanyus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanyus). I'll continue writing Voltron stories there. Thank you!
> 
> Story's note: I don't know why I wrote this?? I think I shouldn't have read that poetry, which I don't remember very well what was it called. But, well, small pieces of that poetry inspired me, and somehow I ended up writing this one-shot. I also think that I needed to write something like this, _Langst with a Happy Ending_ is not bad from time to time, right?
> 
> Anyway, enjoy it!

He was at home again. In Cuba, finally. Lance was back at his house in Varadero. He was in the bathroom, submerged in the soothing water of the bathtub.

No.

_No, he wasn't there. Not yet._

Behind his closed eyes, behind the darkness, _Lance could feel the warm water swaying around his body, trapping him and letting go, caressing his side and tickling him. He could smell the smell of salt impregnated in the soft breeze. Behind his closed eyes, he could feel and hear the presence of his teammates. Their laughs. Their voices. Their last day. The day they were enjoying on the beach of an unknown Planet, as a last victory._

_They had defeated Zarkon. Lotor. And, finally, Haggar. The fall of the Galra Empire had come to an end, converted into mere ash from their past fire. How much time had passed? Lance didn't remember, and, of course, he didn't want to. He could hear the cheerful voices of his fellow Paladins, enjoying their last day in space, in the immense universe._

_No, not yet. He didn't want it to be his last day there, and yet he did want it to be. A home awaited them. How contradictory._

_Lance smiled softly. He had moved away from the others to lie on the water and float. He wanted to enjoy the memory of this day. In the middle of the sea, Lance's body looked like foam about to fade away into bubbles and mingle in the depths. Peace. Calm. Where the waves came and went, always bringing sweet memories. A splash, and then a new presence appeared at his side. The back of a hand brushed his cheek gently, and Lance, without opening his eyes, knew whose it was. Keith. Keith's hand, his affectionate laugh, and his whisper full of happiness. It made him feel at home. They came back home._

Lance was at home. He was on Earth. How much time had passed? Years. He didn't want to remember. _But now Lance was here, relaxing between the sensations._

 _Lance touched his chest with his hand, his arm dripping in the process by come out to the surface. He still was wearing his armor. His armor from a Paladin of Voltron. The Blue Paladin. Lance felt again his chest, a new touch under the palm of his hand. No, he wasn't wearing his armor anymore._ Lance frowned slightly—now he wore his silky T-shirt that he always wore at home, but it was soaked.

He was at home. But it felt like an infinite place, a distant horizon. Lance wanted to return to that beach on the alien Planet. _Ah, yeah. He was already on the beach; his body was lying in the water. It burned. Now that he felt the salty liquid on his skin, the water burned._

“Lance?”

 _Keith. Lance smiled and kept without opening his eyes, relaxing his body even more. Be able to hear Keith, to feel him at his side, next to him in the water. And yet, the Red Paladin's voice felt distant, muffled. Right, Keith._ He had brought Keith with him to visit his family in Varadero. _But… he… no…_

“Lance? Lance, open the door!”

 _Lance felt a strange pressure in his chest. There were no doors on the beach. Keith was at his side, they both in the sea. What door was he talking about? Lance shuddered as if something cold had run down by his spine, even though the water burned over his skin._ _Had it been a spasm?_

“Lance, Lan—”

 _Lance felt his lips curl in a broad smile. Keith's voice was so melodic, so relaxing. Keith, the person he loved._  Hearing him through the door—no; _hearing him at his side, they both surrounded by the bluish green sea, was so reassuring. Lance loved him; had admitted it in his thoughts and had confessed it to the Red Paladin. How much he loved him, couldn't be described with words. They were there, in an infinite place, on a distant horizon, under the clear sky of the Planet. What color was the sky?_

_The sea. Forget, to love, breathe. It was closing your eyes and dreaming._

“Lance? Cariño?”

_Oh. That voice…_

“Por favor. Please, open the door. You're scaring me.”

 _Oh._ The warm, watery and worried voice of his mother, Clara. Oh, his mother, his dear mother. _What was she scared of?_ Lance was at home. The door— _what door? The brunette didn't remember any door. He was on the beach with his team. Voltron had won a war, and everyone was relaxing here. Lance was floating in the sea, hearing to their happy laughs. The waters burned, warm, burning like the sun._

“Lance!”

_Keith. Lance could still, without even opening his eyes, feel how Keith's body relaxed and floated next to his. At his side. They had gone through difficult moments in an intergalactic war, but together they dealt with the problems. The united team did it. They did it._

_Keith was there, beside him. Lance smiled fondly, just in the moment they held each other's hands. Keith gave him a soft, comforting, silent squeeze. He made him feel the most complete person in the world._

_A small pressure settled on his chest._

A restless whisper, “He has been in there for an hour and a half. We have to do something.”

_Lance shuddered again. He was in the sea. The sea; it was love, kisses of salt; it was remembering to let it go. But Lance didn't remember letting go of Keith's hand. He didn't remember having stopped feeling the presence of the Red Paladin at his side. His skin itched. Something was making him feel distant, empty and anxious. So anxious._

“Okay, listen to me. Clara, pick up the phone and call the police. Sofía, please have another phone on hand to dial the emergency number. Move away of the door, I have to try something.”

_Lance didn't understand what Keith was talking about. The team, they both, were on the beach. They were resting from all the nightmare that the Galra Empire managed to give them. They were on a Planet. Where the waves came and went, where the sun's rays warmed their skins, where the soft breeze calmed their thoughts. Where the smell of salt in the air filled their lungs and caressed their scars. They were in the middle of the warm sea and the sand. Cold sand that didn't say him anything, because the waves dragged him to the water. Feeling the water under his back, the palms of his hands and his hair._

_And yet, behind his closed eyes, behind the darkness, Lance could no longer feel the warm water swaying around his body, trapping him and letting go, caressing his side and tickling him. He could no longer smell the smell of salt impregnated in the soft breeze. Behind his closed eyes, he could no longer feel and hear the presence of his teammates. Their laughs. Their voices. Their last day. He couldn't hear it anymore—just static. Their last day; no, not yet._ Lance was at home.

A loud knock on the door.

Another spasm. Lance let out a weak gasp. His heart beat slower than normal, like an alarm without sound. Like a late warning. Lance was in Cuba, in Varadero. He had returned to Earth, with his family. With his team. Beside Keith.

And, even, without being able to open his eyes, Lance knew he was in the bathroom, in the bathtub. He still felt that the water was burning him. An acute and painful warmth that seeped through his body, stinging his heart, damaging his lungs and exceeding the limits of his body temperature.

Lance wasn't on the beach of that Planet anymore. He wasn't remembering that last day in space anymore. He wasn't dreaming anymore. His eyelids fluttered, and his ears flooded with different noises. So anxious. So anxious and suffocating.

A door opening abruptly.

A scared and anguished cry of his name.

And a strong, familiar hands on his skin, quickly pulling him out of the fiery water. Moved him away from the painful sensation, to leave him in a new and cold sensation that provided him the tiles from the bathroom.

 _Keith._ Keith’s strong arms around his body. Keith's hands, carefully touching his skin. It itched. It hurt. Keith's hoarse and loud voice, exclaiming his name over and over again. Over and over again. And again, until, “—fuck! He has burns on—” The brunette only heard his echo. “Lance, don't close your eyes—please don't—”

Lance didn't know if he could still move his cracked lips, but he thought he had smiled at the presence of the former Red Paladin. Keith was at his side again. They were at home, right? How dark home… _how dark…_

 

* * *

 

Behind his closed eyes, behind the darkness, Lance could smell a completely different smell. The air around him no longer smelled like the salty breeze of that beach. No, now it was different, in short. Actually, Lance perceived the smell as sick. A hospital smell.

A hospital…

His eyelids weighed, but they opened too slow until his pupils adjusted to the light. Lance barely felt his body. He barely heard the static of the room. And, suddenly, when he felt a squeeze in his hand, followed by Keith's voice saying his name, Lance felt the bubble of guilt in his veins. His heart was filled with guilt and, for _indefinite_ times, he regretted what he had been about to do in the unconsciousness of his mind.

Now the sense of touch he perceived it totally. Lance felt his heart sink into his chest; he could clearly see that he had white bandages all over his body, and it hurt. His body itched and hurt. His lungs felt small, and on each exhalation and inhalation, his throat and chest sent him a heartbreaking pain. He could hardly breathe.

Lance shouldn't have felt that way. He shouldn't have locked himself in the bathroom when he noticed that anxiety, depression and nightmares returned to him. He thought he had it under control, but the reality was too tempting: he wanted to remember the last day to get rid of everything. But Lance shouldn't have done it. He shouldn't have filled the bathtub with _extremely_ hot water, with fuzzy intentions. He shouldn't have done many things at first. Let himself be carried away by his emotions, once again; deprive himself of the rest, as he had never done before, and as he usually did when he was under the effects of uncertainty.

He just shouldn't have done it.

Lance noticed that his vision was blurred by how close the tears were to spilling. He didn’t even wait a few seconds to turn his head and meet the eyes of Keith, Clara and Sofia. Beside him, their eyes looked watery and bloodshot. The only family that had been at home those days.

Keith was also his family. It was the person Lance had given his heart to. For God's sake… Keith was his _home._

The brunette put a hand to his mouth, muffling a sob.

“I'm sorry,” Lance said, his voice sounding faintly collapsed and repentant. “I'm really sorry. I'm sorry. The—the war…Vol—Voltron…”

Lance closed his eyes, allowing the tears to make their way down his cheeks. It was hard to hold back the sobs. He was sorry so much. He thought that everything was over. He believed that the universe would never collapse again in his dreams. No matter how hard he tried, Lance still believed that all this nightmare would continue, that there would be no end, despite being safe. Despite being at home.

“Lance,” Keith's watery, hoarse voice. Then, his warm lips pressed on his forehead in a sweet kiss, while Keith caressed the back of his bandaged hand. “Now you're fine. The war is over, the space is far away. Now everything is fine. I'm here. We are all here.” A pause. Talking about the war against the Galra had always been a difficult part, due to the many disastrous memories that flooded their minds. Keith's voice and hands trembled, like a latent sign of the past that they had to get over. Although Lance thought they had already got over it. “Don't do this to _me_ again…”

Keith lowered his head. Lance continued sobbing, filling the walls of the room with his trembling moans.

_Forget, to love, breathe. It was closing your eyes and dreaming. Dreaming of a memory. Dreaming of the last day of Voltron's victory._

Lance was here. He was on Earth. _And, for a moment, he was not going to be home anymore._ Traumatic experiences and situations in which they had been near to death would still remain in his head and squeeze his heart.

For that regret, Lance would forget and breathe. He would get over it beside Keith, beside his family. He would go ahead. He would try to do everything possible to go ahead.

Because, really, he would do it again for the people he loved. He would continue doing it for his home.

Because Lance was at home.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't want to put the Suicide Attempt tag or something similar, because I didn't see it very _correct_ in this one-shot. Mmhm, well, I'll explain this little idea a bit:
> 
> Lance really wanted to get rid of his anxiety and calm down. For this, a sweet memory came to his mind: his/their last day in space, where the team found in an alien planet a beautiful beach where they spent the day. Lance wanted to remember the warm waters and feel happy for the memory, so in the midst of his unconsciousness he filled the bathtub with super hot water. This caused him spasms and severe burns on his body by being an hour and a half submerged and locked in. Yes, Lance _almost died_ if Keith didn't come in time; but even so, I don't see it correct to put the _Suicide Attempt_ tag, because Lance really didn't know what he was doing until he realized in the hospital. With all the accumulated emotions and realization, repentance came. Um, kinda so.
> 
> In a future I'll be writing a similar _Canon Divergence,_ on the topic of **Back to Earth** , and it will be _better_ than this, sure, haha.


End file.
